It's funny how I used to "pig out" when I was sad and probably consumed at least 2000 calories during those explosions. Last night I was sad and I went 1-2 points over for the day. For those not in the Weight Watchers world, that is around 100 calories. I felt so guilty but really needed it. We are just waiting to see what happens with Grandpa Joe. I just want him to go peacefully. A friend at works grandfather passed away this morning so I felt a little like that was a sign. Who knows. He has been known to just bounce back, but not sure this time. My mom seems pretty certain this is it. I just need to stay focused and not let this bring me back to my old ways. It is really hard though. It was a 34 year habit.
I was thinking about when it all started. I think when my parents got divorced. I needed an outlet and food was comfort for me. Some say it could have been drinking, drugs, etc, so food isn't a big deal. First I was six so I would hope drinking and drugs wouldn't be an option, but you never know! I say food is just as dangerous. It would have killed me at a young age, and was already causing me to have early diabetes. It is an addiction of a different type. It is, I mean was, my crutch.
My family/friends ask how much longer I will be on Weight Watchers. I find it funny because I look at is as my AA. It is forever for me. It is so easy to just fall back into those habits. It is harder in a way, because you need to eat to live. So I can "taste" what I used to love unlike drinking or drugs where you have to go cold turkey. It is a tough balance for sure!
You're right, Elyse. It is so easy to fall back off the wagon, so to speak. Being stuck home for the past several months, it has been my cheering up crutch. It will be that much harder to lose it all after the baby comes and is probably making the pregnancy more uncomfortable, as well. Just know that you are worth feeling good about yourself even when life around you is falling apart. That even means forgiveness if you do go a few points over... this life is about the journey, as you know! I will keep you and your family in my prayers!!!
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